Another power cut
as part of load shedding
is a wake-up call to get the photovoltaic cells installed –
I have been procrastinating
Wanting to purchase these from a South African manufacturer
At an affordable price
And am having no luck
I may have to look elsewhere
At smaller systems
Perhaps European,
if it comes with service agreements
Perhaps it is time too to let go of the fridge
Time to use the basement
For anything that needs coolness
Yet this too must wait
For the basement is full now,
Acting as storage space for goods in transit
To a new permaculture site in the eastern cape…
Testing my patience
For its not going according to plan
Testing the owner’s patience
For the rain has put a hold on her plans
Climate change is real
Has an impact on what is possible;
It might just slow down the pace at which I live
Even more than it is right now.
Based on recent power-less experience
I won’t fix the gate motor
Just keep it on manual
I was going to get a submergible pump
That would have made watering the plants a breeze
Yet this too may be better done manually,
As I am doing at present…
Simplify,
Rather than add to material complexity
For if my sense is correct
It’s the small and the manual that will serve me
As systems collapse around me…
Self-reliant I wish to be
Yet this is not what gets me up in the mornings
What does is the hope that someday soon I’ll be useful
To more people than I am at present
For I am useful
In small ways,
To my family,
And to a few other people as well
Nonetheless, it feels as though I am procrastinating
Am not in charge of my own life
Only of my attitude
How funny it was that just as I was about to start reading how to pray for rain
It started to rain;
I’ll continue to read Steinsaltz’ Ta’anit on my own for now,
One page a day
At the very least
Even though studying on one’s own is frowned upon;
Talmud study is group work…
All the better to avoid going off track
Getting lost in thought ancient
Layered
Complex
Ending up heretical
Or with distortions;
I was going to wait until January 5
When the new cycle of Dav Yomi starts anew
Yet it’s these tractates of fasting that I have in my lap
Had no idea that the first topic
Would be rain
Fasting to bring the rain when late it is
That life may continue…
I am familiar with rain making in other traditions
Had no idea that it exists in Judaism
Just as I had no idea that without ancestors,
Without our Jewish biological lineages,
Judaism makes no sense…
Had no idea how significant burial places are,
No idea that people visit graves of family members,
Pray for help from forebears
And that this in no way suggests that God is not
Not intercessors between self and God
Rather family, though on the other side,
Still involved in the affairs of the living
Adding strength
Adding guidance
Shifting outcomes
Softening judgements
Karma transforming into opportunity to do better
Even karma transmuting
Through acts of loving kindness
Through self-correction
Not magic
I think I will be fine with my Talmud study
For Steinsaltz is itself a commentary
Comes with praise from many sources
Including the Rebbe…
If I have questions, I can always find someone to ask for clarification.
This time of stillness
I can put to good use
During the daylight hours
Study
And write between power re-chargings.
I had hoped to do other things
Read through the edited blogs
Prepare them for publishing as e-books
As books
Perhaps I can make time to crochet
To paint too
Things I have put aside
In favour of the familiar
The useful…
Use it too to work on my Da’at design
To place in the cottage.
And Rachels’ Well
Which I’ll keep on manual.
Leaving Eskom soon?